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Some tips to help you find ‘the one’ on Indian matrimony sites
The world of online matrimony sites can open up a whole plethora of choices that were not present earlier. Distance is no longer a constraint in finding your best life partner if you dare to ‘login’ with the right intent.
Here are some tips to navigate the space while making the best of what it provides.
So you met this seemingly perfect guy profile online – his profile photo seems nice enough and he has completed his profile where he says he is a ‘super successful banker’ with a ‘fat bonus’. The irony of the online world is that usually two kinds of people put in the effort to create a very good profile with a lot of care and attention – those with serious intent and those who are lying. You won’t know whether the person you are interested in is genuine or not, until you invest more time and effort.
Once you like someone’s matrimony profile, do not make a hasty decision and connect or express interest. Many new generation matrimony websites now have a mandatory registration using the Website, Facebook or LinkedIn ID, while also providing the number of friends a person has and whether the profile seems genuine.
The idiom ‘fortune favors the brave’ is very apt while looking for your potential life partner or even a simple date online. Now that you have liked someone’s matrimony profile and also found that his social profile seems genuine, the only way to really know the person is to initiate contact. Most websites have both the ‘express interest’ and ‘contact’ options. While the former is good to subtly show your intent and see what comes back, the latter is much better at expressing seriousness of intent. So go ahead and show that you are interested in having some connect with the person.
It is best not to drop your guard until the person’s work profile / education can be confirmed on Site. While this does not provide any guarantee that it is true, it gives a higher degree of comfort to see a large professional network or large friends circle, with recommendations or testimonials, all indicating that the profile is genuine. It is also best not to talk about your family’s wealth or the seniority of your parent’s job profile or your own income, as proud as you may be of these things. Speak on the phone and then meet the person for coffee a few times before going out for a longer outing such as dinner. This provides the opportunity to observe the person in different environments and contexts.
One thing to remember is that despite reaching this stage, you never know where this is headed until more formal discussions happen. While finding a life partner to date or marry is a highly emotional decision that forms a significant part of your life, don’t go ‘all in’ until both of you are clear about your intentions and about where the relationship is headed. Setting yourself up with the right kind of expectations is going to hold you in good stead. Of course, be emotionally invested – but control the extent to which you are willing to go for this person, until you are formally in a relationship.
Lastly, while the online world opens up these options, it also means hundreds of useless profiles to go through. It is not for those who are not willing to put in the time or the money to find the right person. There are the matrimony websites tailored for the urban, busy professionals, which take the effort to curate and provide a smaller list of profiles. Despite that, you need to put in the time to connect, email, meet and then make the decision yourself.